We consistently tell ourselves that everything is going to be okay, even when we know very well that it will not. Sometimes I think we tell ourselves it will be okay because deep down it really does make us feel better. The ironic thing is that once everything is okay we question it. We wonder how can everything be okay... something is not right here. That's how things get ruined. Maybe it's me maybe I wish so badly that things would be different that maybe I don't see the good in the situation right now. Or, maybe I wish that things would be different because there really needs to be a change or there is going to be an emotional eruption. You always ask yourself what can I do to change? What can I do to help? What can I do to make things better? What can I do? How can you follow your heart when your heart is tangled? As people why do we always want to fix things? Why do we feel it is necessary... I wonder what would happen if I just let everything be, if I just took this giant leap and didn't worry so much about all the emotional feelings attached to every situation that surfaces in my life. I am being a sap. A sap. No one is going to want to read about a sap and how one woman is trying to change things for the better or make more sense of her life.
Repeated words in repeated fights bring you to the same repeated conclusion,the question is what are you going to do to change the situation to make everything okay?
Quoting Grey's Anatomy, "Sometimes the truth hurts, so we lie."
ReplyDeleteWhat you're going through is going one of the hardest things a woman in your situation can experience. If you're having a hard time it's completely understandable. And I would read a blog by a sap because I'm a sap too. The fact that you're struggling just makes you human; you could be dealing with it in worse ways. You have a lot of well deserved credit you should be giving yourself.
I think the best way to get over it, is to not try to do anything. Don't try to fix things. Be open to try and move on but don't force it. Usually you find yourself exactly where you want/need to be when you are killing yourself to get there. YaMs.
P.S. I like the pictures in this one. You're becoming a pro. ^_-